La Haute Couture

Haute Couture in FranceThroughout the history of male Haute Couture in France, there have been many different species in the tribe Homini in Garments. The current Tie Man is the last male link of Homini in Garments, a species that has ruled the Earth for thousands of years. Power has been in the hands of Men in Garments; kings, bishops, judges and military men. Whenever an ordinary man gains access to a position of power, he becomes a man in garments, and thus the act is called investiture (from the Latin word “investire” which means to wear clothes with the insignia of a rank). The more perverse the position of power, the more ridiculous his disguise.

Compared with epaulettes, robes, skirts, cassocks or white wigs, one can probably say that ties are minor ornaments, like the chapter of a long series of ridiculous disguises. But the truth is that before this world began being reigned by the Tie Man, the destiny of humanity was in the hands of a much more ostentatious group. Those dark times are known as the era of the Vestment Man. These powerful specimens could be proclaimed kings or popes as the highest hierarchy, but there were dozens of other intermediate garments, equally magnanimous: There were viceroys, cardinals, princes (some of them wore kilts), bishops, archdukes, etc. All of them dressed in a varied and colorful array of garments.

Each of these echelons required very carefully designed costumes. The longer time it took a powerful man to be dressed by his assistants in the morning, the higher his rank, authority (and impunity). Such was the case with Napoleon, who popularized in France and Spain the saying “dress me slowly for I am in haste”. In the beginning of the thirteenth century, there were kings who, right after getting dressed, they would immediately need take off their garments again because it was already bedtime. These were undoubtedly among the most powerful men on Earth.